I have been sort of compulsively racing since my first half marathon in March of 2010 when I ran the Dallas RnR Half. It was an amazing race and since it was my very first, I was filled with nerves and apprehension. I knew I had trained well (although due to a lot of ice that winter I did a lot of training on the treadmill) and felt ready, but boy oh boy, there’s just nothing like the fears (some rational, some not) that you have that first time. My biggest worries (in no particular order):

• I wouldn’t be able to finish
• I’d come in last
• I’d have GI trouble and poop my pants (sorry, but that’s the God’s honest truth right there)
• the porta potties would be disgusting and I’d drop something in (they were but I didn’t)
• I would get lost (this one was completely dumb but in my mind I’d be so far back in the pack it was a distinct possibility and since I’ve been known to get lost in my own neighborhood, it made sense)

Thankfully, none of those things actually happened. I didn’t come in last, I finished with a respectable time of 2:36, and I didn’t get lost even once.

And I knew, right then, that my first race was not going to be my last. Notice I appear too tired to even sit up for this picture. I was completely wiped out after that race but very, very happy and satisfied! And so ready for the next time!

I think I first knew racing was for me when we walked into our first Expo. I say “we” because even though Scott wasn’t running then, that first expo hooked him BIG TIME. We saw all these amazing people of all different shapes and sizes with one thing in common – they had trained for and would be running 13.1 miles in just a couple of days. The energy was crazy fun, the booths were packed, people were trying on new shoes that they would wear on race day (like idiots I now know – I don’t even think that should be legal, actually) and it was pure magic! These people were seriously cool – fit, fun, happy and I was actually one of them! Who knew that a girl who couldn’t even run a mile in high school PE would be rubbing elbows with people who knew about things like 800 repeats and GU and hydration and Body Glide?

The race itself was amazing and challenging and the hardest thing (aside from labor) that I’d ever done. And the very next week, I found myself ready for the next event. The next challenge. The next training schedule on the calendar in my kitchen.

And now, 13 half marathons and 3 marathons later, I can’t imagine not racing. I haven’t taken more than 2 weeks of from a training schedule since and it’s become a constant and welcome part of our daily lives. The kids gets it, my husband gets it (and has been fully assimilated, thank you very much) and it’s just part of who we are.

And the dirty little secret is that I keep racing because it keeps me running. There are days when I absolutely love training and can’t wait to get out there at 6am. And then there are the other days – the times when I just want that extra hour of sleep and would rather sit and have coffee in the morning instead of putting on running clothes again. Saturdays when I would so much rather sleep in then drag my tired butt out of bed to put in a 10 mile long run.

But when I get to the race – or, as a friend of mine called it years ago, “the party to reward you for all the hard work of training” it’s all 100% worth it. Seeing my running friends, attending yet another Expo, watching all the first-timers with the same nerves and fears I had. . . and being able to encourage them and show them that many of us who race are ordinary men and women just like them. We have kids and jobs and impossible schedules. We’re not super-human or (in my case) even super talented. We just love what we do and we are committed – to being fit, to pushing ourselves, and to doing things and running further then we ever thought we could.

I may not be able to race forever. Lots of things might get in the way. But for now, and as long as God allows me to, I’ll keep logging onto Active.com and laying down my hard earned money for one more time. One more end of training party. One more moment of crossing the finish line and realizing that I am blessed. And one more celebratory meal with people I love who are as committed and insane as I am.

See you at the races and happy running!

Jen