Staging a Real House is Not Like Staging a House on HGTV

I am an HGTV junkie.

I watch all the shows. And the hosts of the shows are my friends. I hang out with Chip and Joanna and Drew and Jonathan on a regular basis. And I honestly missed Suzanne Wong when she went off the air (if these names aren’t familiar to you it’s OK you just may not be the HGTV devotee that I am;).

My favorite shows are the ones where they help people get their homes ready to sell. There was one years ago that I can’t remember the name of where this lovely British woman took homes that had been on the market forever and did a few things, and moved some furniture, and presto chango, it sold overnight. It was like a miracle.

So, that’s not EXACTLY how it’s happening in my home.

OK, so maybe this is a little snarky. Couldn't help myself when I saw this as an option on Photogrid.
OK, so maybe this is a little snarky. Couldn’t help myself when I saw this as an option on Photogrid.

It’s way messier than it is on TV.

Yes, sometimes they’ll show the over wrought homeowners who are exhausted, but that only ever seems to be lasting maybe one day. Not weeks on end. And on TV they’re not also going to work, and doing laundry, and paying bills, and going to the dentist. I mean, have you EVER seen them even MENTION laundry on one of those shows? What do they do, buy all new stuff? I have become obsessed with finding one where they mention it. “Rob and Laura are choosing to live through their renovation with their family. And it’s all a mess. And their laundry is everywhere. And no one can find clean underwear”. This is reality.

The more you move stuff the more you find you need to fix.

OK, so maybe they DO touch on this (Drew and Jonathan find some unexpected hick up ever time and don’t even get me started on how often Hilary finds water damage. Good Lord, is Canada like the water damage capitol of the world?) Thankfully our issues have only been some missing grout and some holes in walls I didn’t know about.

It’s emotionally exhausting.

It’s way more than just moving the stuff and decluttering. It’s removing the blinds from your breakfast nook and remembering that your dad put them up 15 years ago while your then 2 year olds twins laughed at him hysterically. And then you miss your dad like crazy and cry for 20 minutes, rendering you unable to either de-clutter or stage. This is not in the shows.

It lasts way longer than 30 minutes. Or, if you watch it on Netflix, 20. Way, way, way longer.

As in, is this ever going to be over I feel like the stuff is like the oil in the Hanukah lamp and every time I empty it there’s more. But it’s not a miracle that makes you want to give each other gifts. It’s a chore that makes you never want to never buy anything ever again.

We’ll be done soon. And one way or the other, by the New Year I’m going to pop some champagne and relax in my perfectly unpacked and gorgeous new space. Or prop my feett up on some of the still unpacked boxes and chill out. Either way.

Happy running.

Jen

 

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