I hesitate to speak for all runners. In fact, I’m not even sure any runners other than me think these things. But I have my suspicions. Do me a favor – if all of these are completely out of left field and crazy/odd/bizarre please just nod politely and make me think I’m perfectly normal, would you? My family has been doing it for years so if you need advice on how to make that happen, I’ll hook you up.

I think this was two years ago? Just inserting a random pic because all the blogging people say you need pictures.

If I check the weather every day starting two weeks before a race, I can magically will it into being what I want it to be. And if I refresh the weather app more than 10 times per hour, I am, quite literally, controlling the weather. This one I really think is true.

If I publicly post my time goal for a race I will jinx myself. I’ve felt this way for years. If I tell you, for example, that I secretly hope to be sub 2:20 for my half in a week and a half there’s no way it will happen. Whoops. Crap.

Inside me is a Deena Kastor just waiting to come out. It’s only my lack of discipline keeping me from winning the Olympic trials. Right? I mean, genetics has nothing to do with it. I’m just being lazy. If I would get off my arse I could easily get myself to a five minute mile. (maybe not)

If I wear a race shirt on race day I will anger the running gods and trip or something and be unable to finish the race. I honestly think maybe we say this so we can secretly mock the people who do it and feel slightly superior for 3 and a half seconds. I’m not proud of this.

Porta potties aren’t really that dirty. I’m not going to say anything else here. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

The worst thing that could happen ANYWHERE TO ANYBODY is having your chrono tag not record your time. This would come above getting audited, throwing up in public and running out of gas in the middle of the desert on my top 10 list of things I fear.

Everyone on the course is faster than me and/or this is easier for everyone else than it is for me. This always feels true. But it truly never is. And even if it were, who cares? Clearly I do. I don’t want to. But I do. Running, and especially getting better at running, is just plain old fashioned hard work. For everybody. But honestly, I do think it’s a little harder for me.

I have hope that someday I will evolve into a mature runner (and human) who doesn’t think such silly ridiculous things. But I doubt it. Now leave me alone – I have to go check the weather for a week from Saturday again or it might not turn out like I want it to. Hey, I don’t make the rules folks.

Happy running.

Jen