So let me preface this entry by a slight disclaimer: I am not that good with the failure. Especially when it comes to running. Who am I kidding, I hate it all the time. I had an experience this morning that made me realize I might actually have a mental blind spot when it comes to just how determined I can be, but I’ll tell you about that in a minute.

OK, my failure this week wasn’t nearly as bad as this poor guy’s

The week started out pretty good. I didn’t do my 60 minutes of cross training on Sunday (because seriously that’s just not gonna happen – I’m a pastor. Sunday’s my big day. We’re all gonna have to get OK with that not happening.)

Tuesday’s run was uneventful. Easy and quite enjoyable.

Wednesday’s run TRIED TO KILL me and prompted me to tweet the following:

The expression swearing like a sailor should be changed to swearing like a runner. That was a tough 6 miles. TX humidity, I loathe you.
— Jen Lefforge (@Jenlefforge) October 1, 2014

It was truly the toughest 6 miles ever and I fought HARD for it. It was supposed to be at marathon pace and I was off by 13 seconds per mile, but I won. Because I still had negative splits and I stayed strong and I finished the SIX MILES even though when I went out I thought it was only FIVE. Imagine my delight when Hal Higdon reminded me on my app that I was actually in for SIX MILES at marathon pace. Love you, Hal. I really do. But if you say one more encouraging thing in my ear I’m going to lose it.

So that brings us to today. Yes, I know, you’re thinking, WAIT, aren’t you supposed to do your long runs on Saturdays? You’re so smart, Gentle Reader (channeling my inner Emily Post). Yes, my long runs ARE supposed to be on Saturdays but I have a work thing tomorrow morning so it had to be today.

WARNING – WOMAN’S OB/GYN HEALTH ASIDE STARTING HERE – DO NOT READ IF THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. AND IF I SEE YOU AT CHURCH AND STUFF PLEASE DON’T BRING THIS UP

4 weeks ago I had a hysteroscopy and d&c. What no one mentioned is that your first regular period after this procedure will be the worst period of your entire life. As in, you will want to die, you will want morphine or perhaps one of those fancy epidurals like they give you at the hospital when you have a baby. The reality of how bad it was hit me at mile . . .2. And I was 2 miles from home. EVERYTHING WENT WRONG and I had to run two miles like that. I tried to walk but just wanted it over faster so I ran. All the while feeling like my insides were going to come out and in excruciating pain. OK, TMI over.

So, instead of today being 11 miles, it was . . . 4.3. FAILURE. Right? Or maybe not. As I type this I’m actually questioning my sanity for running 2 miles the way that I felt. I have plenty of neighbors and a cop did drive by that I seriously considered asking to drive me home. Would that have been weird? It’s a pretty small town. I’m pretty sure he would have done it.

Maybe my body telling me “hey, Jen, hey, yeah, we’re not gonna do that thing you thought we were gonna do today, mkay?” was a good thing. Because in running, and in life, we are all going to have days where our plans don’t work out like we think they’re going to. AT ALL. And resilience – the ability to roll with the punches and move on – is the single biggest contributing factor to success. Or something like that. Or much better put:

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”  Nelson Mandela

So on Sunday, we start week 5. And it will be fresh, with no mistakes in it. And I will forget what lies behind and press onward toward the goal (yes, I stole that from Paul in the Bible).

Happy running. May we all have amazing weeks and may we all even have sucky ones – I dare say we learn more from the sucky ones. And we will learn and, with God’s help, we will be amazing.

Jen