Yes, I know. My normal perky optimism about running is lacking today. Intellectually, I still believe it does all they say it does. It keeps me young, it keeps me strong, and helps me look way better in my clothes and yet still able to eat an occasional cupcake.

But I’ve not been running for a couple of weeks and today, out of sheer force of will, I went out there. And it was hard. Really, really hard. My pace was off by some but not enough to fret about. It was more the way I felt WHILE I was running. I . . hated . . . every . . .minute. Truly, not even the Mighty Mighty Bosstones circling through on my playlist did the trick. I kept waiting for that magical moment when it all comes together and I’m glad I went out . . . BUT IT NEVER CAME!

I’m home now and I can tell you that in spite of the sheer torture of the thing, I am glad I went out. I feel centered again – and that’s good because I was starting to feel quite cookoo for cocoa puffs (oh, did I tell you? I’m a little crazy and running keeps me off meds. This is only a slight exaggeration).

But as I type this I think about my friend, Beth, who’s in a cast unable to even walk around because of her broken ankle from slipping on the ice during a run. And even more than that, her son, Christian, who’s NEVER been able to walk as he’s been confined to a wheelchair since birth. And my good friends Don and Amy who daily care for their 2 kids with special needs and barely have time to think in a straight line and yet ran their first 5K a couple months ago.  I think of my friend Meredith, whom I’ve mentioned here before, who fights through her MS and gets out the door even when she can’t get her legs to listen to the messages she’s sending them. And I think about all the people I know who want so badly to be able to get out there and run 4 miles but just don’t think they can. Because they’re locked up in their own minds holding onto fears and shame and don’t think they can – so they don’t try.

Seth Godin, a guy I greatly admire, said something in an interview lately that I really liked. It went something like this “anything can be art if it’s done with intent and generosity.” Think about that for a minute. If I go out there with intent to allow my God given limbs to do something beautiful and if I embrace who God made me to be in the process and if I am good to myself in the process? I think it qualifies as art, don’t you? He went on to say, that even if it’s BAD art, it’s still art. It still has value. And it’s still beautiful in it’s own way.

So instead of looking at today’s run as the garbage it felt like, I am making a choice. To be grateful, to be generous (to myself), and to use even the garbage to glorify God. Thank you, Lord, for a beautiful day, for a body that works, and for a life that although filled with chaos, pain and strife has meaning and purpose because of you.

There. Now I feel much better. And for those of you who don’t because you think you can’t? Maybe if you look at is as art. As worship. With intent and generosity take those first few steps. And see what Joy it brings. Even when it seems like garbage. Happy Running!

Jen