In our 25 years of marriage, Scott and I have prepared and served LOTS of holiday meals. And although the first few were a little shaky, we kind of have it down to a science. Although now that I’m blogging about it, I’m sure this year will be an unmitigated disaster because that’s just the way it works.

So if you’re getting ready to host your first Thanksgiving or some other big holiday meal, I have some words for you. And yes, I am a vegetarian, and yes, I still cook a turkey or two every year. It makes sense if you don’t think about it.

1. Relax. This is, actually, not the most important task you’ll undertake this year. It’s just a meal. A turkey, some sides, some pie. That’s it. It’s not the holy grail of cooking.

2. Teamwork. I’m blessed that Scott is actually a better cook than I am, but it could be your mom or your sister or you son or daughter or you brother-in-law. Just assemble a team. Because you can’t do this alone.

3. Shop Early! – make your list and plan your menu at least a week out and start assembling your ingredients. I don’t like doing it all in one trip (too overwhelming!) so we break it up into several visits. One for turkey and stuffing and wine, one for sides, one for dessert stuff. My mind can’t handle doing it all at once. Oh, and you can buy most of the stuff way in advance. The grocery store the week of a major holiday is frightening. And it gets worse as the week progresses. Seriously, I once almost came to blows with a woman over the very last jar of red sprinkles. Not kidding. It was bad.

4. Make stuff ahead of time! I’m going to give you a list in a minute of what you can make and when, but this is HUGE. The day of, all we’re typically doing is re-heating, setting our table, and cooking the turkey. We like to enjoy our holiday, not spend 12 hours on our feet cooking!! And while we’re on the subject, don’t feel like you have to make 12 side dishes. No one will care. Pick the two or three things you and your family love and forget the rest! (for example, if nobody eats the cranberry sauce but you’re buying it every year because your Aunt loved it – DITCH IT!)

5. Maintain your sense of humor. You’re hopefully going to be sharing a great meal with people you love. As long as you have good wine and rolls, no one will starve no matter how bad the food turns out. When something doesn’t turn out, DO NOT freak out. It’s just one meal. Please see number 1.

This year, we’re having Thanksgiving and Christmas here, so I’m making this next list for me as much as for you. Here are the things I make ahead and when I make them:

• Deviled eggs – these can be made up to 2 days in advance. You may want to invest in one of those tupperware things just for this purpose so that they don’t stink up your fridge. Peeling hard boiled eggs can be time consuming so I like to do it when I’m not rushed.
• Mashed Potatoes and/or sweet potatoes – make them the day before and then the day of, put them in the crock pot and warm them up. Add milk if you need to. If you don’t have time to do the crock pot thing you can warm them in the microwave but then put them in the crock pot on warm because everybody loves piping hot mashed potatoes and the crock pot means you can have seconds that are just as warm as your firsts;). And bonus, you won’t be worried about the whole timing thing – they’ll stay moist and warm as long as you need them too.
• Desserts – almost all of these can be made way ahead or, if you’re not into baking, bought (or better, brought by a thoughtful guest!)
• Setting the table – I do this the night before. I really enjoy this part and really like to take my time. And honestly, what’s better than waking up to a beautifully set table? (exception: do not do this if you have toddlers. I tried when the twins were about 2 and they pulled the whole table cloth down and broke a ton of dishes. The kids were fine. My nerves were not.)
• Plan for food for your kids. Remarkably, even on a holiday when a big meal is planned, those darn kids want to eat during the day. So rude! Buy whatever they like that they can make themselves or just grab. Or get comfortable with getting fast food for them just this one day. They won’t die. And it won’t make a mess. Mine are older now, but them whining that they were hungry for one meal while I was cooking another always annoyed me to no end.