I was with my therapist today. I happen to adore her and I also think she’s a genius, which I suppose is an important and positive thing to feel about one’s therapist.
We were talking about time and mortality (you know, just small talk;), and she said something that stopped me in my tracks.
When you have the right perspective on life and mortality, it become really important to ask the question “how am I wasting my energy?”
I’ve thought a lot about how I am wasting my time, but I’m not sure I’ve ever thought about how I’m wasting my energy. After all, my energy is even more finite than my time and in the second half of my life, I want to preserve as much of it as possible to do the things that bring me joy and bring joy to others.
But how am I wasting it? Are there times in my day where I am taking my most valuable resource and just letting it spill out onto the ground as though it were worth nothing?
Short answer: YES. Here are the top 3.
Worrying
Matthew 6:25 – 34 is one of my favorite bible passages. It’s where, basically, Jesus says to chill the heck out and stop worrying because it doesn’t change anything. I know this intellectually, but emotionally, when I feel helpless, worry seems like it’s the least I can do. And it wastes my energy.
Rehashing old wounds and humiliations
Yes, I’ve got some grudges in there. And sometimes when a fresh emotional wound occurs, those old scars tend to itch and I can relieve the whole damn mess all over again. And times when I’ve been humiliated or shamed come back with a level of HD clarity that not even the new 4D TV’s can provide. And it wastes my energy.
Numbing
I credit Brene Brown with bringing this particular energy waster to my attention. It can take many forms, but for me, mindless internet surfing and TV watching top the list of way I escape my own reality. It can serve a purpose sometimes (after all, a few episodes of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee on Netflix recently completely changed my mood and perspective because, DANG, FUNNY!). But other times, when I’m honestly just starting at a screen and couldn’t even tell you what i’m watching or why? Yeah, BIG energy waster. And lately, I even numb with the news. It’s pretty easy to forget about your own life when you sit and watch what a complete cluster our government is for hours. WASTEFUL.
I’m still working on the energy wasting list but there’s another list as well: the things I can do that give me energy. That list came fast and furious and it’s long. Listening to music, taking long walks, running (of course), petting my dogs, conversations with friends, writing, quality time with my husband and kids . . . . so many things that I’m blessed to be able to do that are good for my soul. I want to be intentional about my time and I don’t want to waste one ounce of energy on things that don’t give me, or those around me, LIFE.
So whatever is true, whatever is good, whatever is honorable, let your mind dwell on those things. (Philippians 4:8).
Wouldn’t it be awesome if our Fitbits told us not just how many steps we took in a day, but how much energy we spilled onto the ground with non-life giving activities? Now THAT’S a metric I’d like to measure.
I may have more power over my level of energy than I think I do. And at almost 50 years old, it’s a good time to figure that out. So what’s on your list? Maybe today is a good time to take some time and work that out for yourself.