Today, for only the third time in my life, I ran 20 miles. The first time was my longest training run for my first marathon, the second was my actual first marathon and then today. Before I had actually done it, I couldn’t fathom what it was like, how tired people got or what it felt like. But now I know. So here’s how it works for me:

20 miles is a really, really long way to run. I was nervous about it all day yesterday and although I knew I would complete it, I know what it feels like when your legs feel like lead and you start to question why you run and why you didn’t take up a different hobby like scrapbooking or chess. Was hoping to avoid that today.

Um . . .how to say this? My legs felt like lead. No idea why but sometimes you just have a bad long run and that was me today. Ironically, my 18 mile run (which included 8 miles in intense heat and humidity and the rest on the treadmill) was easier than today. The first 10 miles I felt pretty good and then I just felt lousy. I would take a walk break, thinking that would help, but instead all that would happen is I would cramp up and it would take all the will power I have to get those feet back in running mode again.

I fell last time I ran 20 miles. And I fell today. Not a graceful, girly trip, either but a big grand daddy sprawl on the sidewalk. And one of my rice krispy treats fell out of my pocket. So instead of one packet of energy chews and 2 rice krispy treats, I only had one. Trust me, this is epic and earth shattering when you go to reach for your 2nd rice krispy treat at mile 12 only to realize IT’S NOT THERE. I’m still not quite recovered from that.

Sometimes you have to rely on the kindness of strangers. Thank you, random man doing yard work who offered to fill up my water bottle from the hose at mile 17. He said “how far you going?” I said “only 3 miles left but I’m doing 20 today.” His jaw actually dropped. Nice man. Very nice man. Maybe my new favorite random dude.

You say weird things to yourself when your body is begging to stop and your mind is refusing. Here’s a sample conversation:

me: You should quit. This is stupid. Just walk home and watch The Real Housewives of Something and eat panckaes.
Also me: Don’t be stupid! You have to finish what you started! Besides, that next endorphine hit is just around the next corner! Suck it up, Cupcake!
me: You realize you smell like cattle and look like a drowned cat, right? You know, you only need to run a few miles a few times a week to be in shape. And this really hurts.
also me: GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! YOU WERE MEANT TO RUN LONG DISTANCES AND YOU’RE ALMOST THERE!!

And so it goes. On and on. For FOUR FREAKING HOURS. That’s right friends, that’s how long I ran today. I made it through the last 4 excruciating miles by putting on Disney music and singing along in my mind.

So I’m choosing to go with the old saying from my musical theater days “bad dress rehearsal, great opening.” Because today was not a great dress rehearsal. But I finished. Oh, and to my shock and surprise, I actually ran THIS 20 miler 1 full minuter/mile faster than the last time I did it in a training run. So I’ll take it!!!!

Oh, and the sincere sounds of “great job, Mom!” that greeted me upon my return home were sweet music to my ears. I like that my kids see me doing something really hard and following through. And the best part? Now we taper (the time leading up to a race where you cut your mileage in order to let your body rest and prepare for race day). I’m a HUGE fan of the taper.

Happy Running!!

Jen