Forgive me if this is clunky, poorly worded, filled with typos and awkward. But I make sense of things by writing about them. Or at least it helps. So you can all join me as I try to make my way through the muck.
As I watched the news today there were a few scenes that captured my attention over and over. It was the runners who showed the typical end of a marathon elation. Well, it’s actually anything but typical – it’s a rush of all kinds of emotions, pride, amazement, exhaustion, pain and exhilaration and much of the time (every time for me) tears. Lots of tears.
But today something twisted and sick happened in that very space. That space that is normally filled with unconditional love and support of family and friends, the protection and care of amazing volunteers, emergency personal and medical support was filled with something completely different – terror and hate and fear.
I’m not sure if we’re all feeling it, but the thought of that space – that sacred in many ways space – being invaded by evil is almost more than I can take. There’s an innocence when you run a big race that you will somehow be OK, that you will be protected, that you are safe.
A friend posted how can we ever feel safe in a big race like that again. I get that in my heart but in my head, and in my soul, I know the truth. The space where evil invades innocence is everywhere we look. It’s in children who starve in countries who’s governments refuse to feed them, it’s in the heart of a child who gets beaten by the very parent who is to love and protect, it’s in the eyes of a kindergartner in Newton who should feel carefree in the very school that teaches them about strangers and the dangers “out there”.
I’m a runner but I’m a pastor first. And the truth is? I don’t have some clean explanation here. Some easy to understand bible verse to point out why evil exists and why it hurts the innocent. So I’ll cling to scripture. And to prayer. And to love. And to the things that I know are secure and forever and safe.
2 Timonthy 1:7 – For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, and a sound mind.”
Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
There is so much I don’t know. And don’t understand. And that isn’t fair. Ironically, Rick Warren, who is in the middle of his own personal unspeakable tragedy, tweeted this just this morning:
“When uncontrollable circumstances leave me out on a limb, I just let go. God catches me every time”
Thank you, Rick. I needed that today. And today, more than ever, I need my God. Because perfect love really does cast out all fear.
Happy (and triumphant) running and much love my friends. And for those of you in Boston who were there, who responded, who lost loved ones, who are afraid – we are with you and we are lifting you up in our prayers.
Jen
As usual Jen I really like your writing and your blog. I must disagree with one point though, today that space was not filled with terror, hate and fear. It was surely contaminated by these in a way that it should not have been but I also take strength that love, caring, thoughtfulness, responsiveness to others, were also present and I hold them to be stronger and more effective. Thank you again for sharing and helping us all process.
Of course you are right!! I should have said there was the intention for that – but instead what we’re seeing is courage, love, resilience and strength. Thanks for that reminder, Katrina!!