I am just a few weeks away from starting my training plan for the 2015 Walt Disney World Marathon. This will be the 4th marathon I’ve trained for and you would think that I could just put my brain on auto-pilot and not make it such a big dang deal. I’ve done it before. I know what’s required, I know how my body will respond, and I know the sacrifices I’ll have to make. And there lies the struggle. I also know what’s going to suck.

Normally, on this blog, I’m pretty bright and encouraging – or at least I like to think I am. But today, just for today, I’m going to indulge my inner snarky and tell you some things that I already know, in advance, are going to absolutely suck about marathon training. Here we go.

1. I will be starving all the time. And bonus, I will most likely put on a few pounds. This is maybe the most unfair part of marathon training EVER. And yes, the internet is filled with ways to avoid it (like this article from Runner’s World) but you know what? I’m TRAINING FOR A FREAKING MARATHON and if I get a hankering for an extra helping of table side guac at my local Mexican place, I’m having it. I can’t do crazy distances and monitor every bite that goes in my mouth at the same time. So let’s all just get comfortable with that, OK?
2. My bedtime will have to be that of a 4th grader. Scott is a night owl. I am a morning person. Normally, I truly enjoy being asleep by 10pm. When I’m marathon training this needle will move to 9pm or even, on really awesome nights, 8:30 and my family will laugh at me when I start to fall asleep on the couch. So I will be using my DVR A LOT.
3. I will spend the day before a very long run dreading the long run. This is where I am truly a ridiculous human being. I will spend inordinate amounts of time the day leading up to a 15 plus mile effort thinking through every possible awful moment of that long run. I will obsessively check weather, I will get a bit nauseous thinking through those “dig deep” moments, and I will generally just be cranky about it. Aren’t you wishing you were my friend right now?
4. The day of the very long run will be shot and all I will want to do is lay on the couch and have people bring me things. I have a very understanding family and they’ve come to accept this. Secretly I think Scott loves it because instead of being the hyper “let’s get stuff done why are you all just laying around” wife he married, I turn into a total couch potato. My house, in turn, will look like we’ve been robbed.
5. I will be sore and things will hurt and I’ll constantly be playing the “am I just sore or am I hurt” game. Be prepared, my google search bar – you will be overwhelmed with questions like “can you run when you have shin splints?” I am a HUGE BABY when it comes to aches and pains and bonus, I am paranoid about getting injured. So what is most likely just an overuse nothing will turn, in my imagination, into a torn ACL or something that requires surgery.

So why in the world would I sign on for this? Well, I’ll tell ya:

If it were easy, everybody would do it. It’s hard. Very hard. And that’s my favorite part about it.

Happy Running. And training. And yes, I’m in counseling.

Jen