We started our family in 1996. Yes, almost 2 decades ago, which is unbelievable to me as I can remember taking that pregnancy test like it just happened 10 minutes ago.

Back then, we had a few options for where to get parenting advice. They were pretty straight forward and included the following:

• Our Family (moms, grandmas, aunts, siblings)

• Our Friends

• Books

• Our Faith CommunitIES

And that was really it. What was great about all 4 of those options was they loved us (well, not the books but the other 3) and they were invested in our kids (AGAIN, NOT THE BOOKS;). (but the good thing about the books is you could only realistically read so many so not too much damage could be done and once you had more than one baby you really didn’t have time to read them at all)

So even though we certainly couldn’t listen to every piece of advice we received, we knew it was mostly coming from a good place so we could filter out what didn’t work for us and move forward knowing that we were looking to our village, and that they only wanted the best for us.

So let’s fast forward. Today, here are your options when raising your young kids:

• Pinterest
• Bloggers
• Google
• Facebook (and all the other social media things)
• Hopefully also, too, the 4 above

So, here’s the thing about those new options. They AREN’T invested in your kids. Well, maybe FB if your friend list is filled with people who are in your village. For most of us, maybe not so much.

I am not slamming bloggers (wouldn’t that be hypocritical?) but the reality is, many bloggers are going for click bait. Not my friends who blog, but there are some. The more sensational the post, the more hits, and the more hits the more they make from advertisers (again, people in glass houses, so not judging) but they don’t know you and ultimately if you listen to them or don’t, what happens to your kiddos is none of their business.

And let’s talk about the Pinterest, shall we? I’m on Pinterest, I use Pinterest, I post to Pinterest. But if there has ever been a site more likely to make you feel like you’re completely inadequate, it’s this one. I could barely keep up with the other moms in my kid’s classes. If I had to keep up with an entire internet universe filled with one year old birthday parties that Paris Hilton would be lucky to attend and “gender reveal” ideas that took 3 months to pull off, I would be drinking a lot. And during the day.

And then there’s the google! Google doesn’t love me. Google doesn’t care about my kids. I can type in “dangers of head injury from falling out of grocery cart” (which, btw, happened to my oldest when he was 3) and what comes up is COMPLETELY TERRIFYING. All I had was my pediatrician and she said the following:

“meh. it happens”

Had google been available to me I would have rushed him to Cedar Sinai and found the best neurologist on the planet to check him out. Or I would have felt shame and recrimination because I did nothing but give me some baby Tylenol and a good nap.

Sorry, I’m rambling. My point: I don’t know how you girls do it. I really don’t. But I want you to know I see you – I see you struggling to find answers in a sea of solutions, and I want you to know that it’s OK if you’re confused.

And that maybe, just maybe, it’s a good idea to restrict the opinions you REALLY listen to and look only to people who love you and are invested in the good of your kids. Because, after all, your village has always been the best place to start.

Hang in there. You’re doing great. And I’m proud of you.