Balance. Everyone thinks that’s what they want. Because that means that everybody is getting what they need from you, all the time, everyday.

We strive for it, we read books about how to get it, and we troll internet articles and magazines on the latest breakthroughs on getting there. Articles like “How To Find More Time in Your Day!” or “Organizational Secrets that Will Guarantee You will Feel More at Peace!” or “How To Eat An Entire Chocolate Cake and never Gain a Pound!” (OK, that one’s a little over the top, I’ll grant you.)

The problem with trying to find balance is it’s not possible and I’m not ever sure I want it to be. I don’t run marathons because I want to be balanced. PLEASE. Crazy things, crazy chances, crazy endeavors? They ALWAYS call for unbalanced, crazy, generous passion.

I’m giving up trying for balance. I’m instead going to give 100% to everything I choose to do. I’m going to love my boys with a crazy generosity that makes no sense. Which doesn’t mean giving them everything they want, but does mean listening and loving and making time to look into their eyes and really hear them.

I’m going to love my husband with intention and make time to hold his hand on the couch and go for a walk and listen to music.

I’m going to brush the dog because he really needs it and because I like the way he looks at me.

And I’m going to sleep, Dangit. I’m going to sleep a lot.

And I’m going to run. With joy, with passion, as slow or as fast as I want without anyone’s expectations getting in the way – including my own.

I’m going to spend time with my friends not just chatting about our days but talking about the deep issues in our lives that threaten to destroy us if we can’t be real about them.

And by the very nature of these decisions, I’m choosing to be off balance. I’m choosing to live my life in 100% increments instead of spreading everything out in neat percentages on a pie chart. Some weeks I’m sure I’ll do better than others but for the most part there will always be somebody getting a little less because I’m choosing to give somebody (or something) else a little more. But it will be me choosing, with God’s help and direction. And I think I really like the way that feels.

So here’s to being un-balanced! I’d rather live life in big, ridiculous gulps than in cautious, safe, half breaths. So go out there and make some big, hairy audacious goal – buy a really big book that you’ve always wanted to read, sign up for a race that seems impossible, take ballet lessons, eat ice cream or call a friend and schedule lunch. Because balance is WAY overrated. Happy running!

Jen