So, last year, I wrote a very heartfelt post all about what I’d learned over my 24 years of marriage. I don’t really have anything new to add to that, but I did want to write something about our marriage as Scott and I are getting ready to celebrate 25 years together.

I got to thinking about how different the process of “getting married” is today as opposed to what we had WAY back in 1990;). Here are few thoughts:

NO PINTEREST

Yup, we had really two sources of wedding planning. Our friends, and Bridal magazines. The first thing you did when you got engaged is tell all your friends and then go out and buy several large (and quite expensive) Bridal magazines and start obsessing. Pinterest actually would have been lovely because most of what was in those magazines was far too expensive for most of us and articles on “weddings on a budget” were not all that plentiful.

Limited Email, NO texting and NO FACEBOOK

If we needed to communicate to our wedding party that was spread out at various colleges, we had to actually call them. On the phone. And if they weren’t home, we had to leave VOICEMAIL. Or we could write them a letter. Email existed but you wouldn’t have used it to say, send photos of the bridesmaids dress you were considering so everyone could give input. We were tough back then – things took WAY longer and/or bridesmaids hated their dresses (oh, wait, never mind that still happens;). And by the way, when you went to announce your engagement, you had to pull out your address book and call everyone or they heard by word of mouth and were ticked at you for not calling. No FB relationship status changes or lovely pics of your engagement to be spread across all the social media things. How did we have time to do anything with all those phone calls going on??

WE MARRIED YOUNG

Now I married REALLY young at only 19, but the average age that we are marrying is trending up. The average for women was 23 in 1990 and is 28 today. This is good and bad. Good because you have a better idea of who you are when you’re 28 and I think will make a good choice from that place. However, I tend to overthink things so if I’d waited that long, I seriously wonder if I ever would have been married at all. Did you know that the decision making part of your brain isn’t fully formed until 26? So yeah, I was quite literally not in my right mind. That might have been a good thing. Which is easy for me to say, because it has worked out.

If they were able OUR PARENTS PAID FOR EVERYTHING and we would NEVER go into debt for our wedding

This is a reality that I personally wish we’d bring back. Lately I’m seeing a lot of young couples paying for the cost of a wedding entirely on their own. If that had been me and Scott, we would have been married in a park with a string quartet. I actually would have loved that. But mom and dad were footing the (rather large) bill so I was very happy to make it a big shin dig. What I’m seeing not is a lot of couples going into debt to pay for a huge wedding. I HATE this. Truly hate it. Your life together shouldn’t start saddled with bills for the WEDDING. Your life together is about your marriage, not your wedding.

And I think the biggest different (wait for it) is:

WE WORE BIGGER STUFF ON OUR HEADS

I have no explanation for this. It’s just . . .ODD. The woman at the bridal store promised me this would be timeless. I don’t think so . . .

Were you married in the 1990’s? If so, what did I miss? Would love to here from you. Oh, and to all of us, just getting married or married forever, keep working at it. Because it’s hard work. But it’s worth it! May God bless all of our marriages! A good one is a blessing that can only come from above.

Oh, and thanks, Scotty, for 25 amazing years. The good, the bad and the sometimes very ugly, there’s no one I would rather have by my side. We never could have anticipated that life would be as hard as it’s been, but you’ve been my partner and my best friend. Here’s to at least 25 more years together.