I’ve been a mom for 19 years.
That’s a lot of parenting.
Some of it’s even been half way decent. I know, right?
So I truly believe in my heart that this post has been 19 years in the making. There are a bunch of things, you see, that you think only YOUR children do.
But, to paraphrase CS Lewis “Friendship is born at the moment when one parent says to the other ‘I thought it was only my kids. Thank God. I guess all kids are cray'”. (or something)
So here we go. My top 10 things All kids do that you think only your kids do
1. Leave trash wherever. Especially shocking when they hide it, as in under couch cushions or in book shelves.
2. pick their noses and eat it a recent scientific article showed that this is good for your immune system. I don’t care. GROSS.
3. poop in the bathtub (hopefully not past their 1st bday) (EVERY NIGHT this would happen with one twin or another. Yes, I want to stop bathtime to take you both out of the tub and use the bleach on the tub and then put you back in. And then the other one would do it. Are you KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!)
4. lie (it starts young and it happens often. Yes, even YOUR precious baby)
5. Sit in chairs in every way possible EXCEPT the way the chair is meant to be sat upon. Scenes like the one below are why we won’t be investing in new furniture until they move out.
6. Hide the food they don’t want to eat (one of mine would always have to go to the bathroom when he got to his broccoli. And flush it down the toilet.)
7. “play” with the contents of their diaper (please dear God help this one not to be only my kids or ya’ll or just gonna think we’re gross. Thankfully this only happened once at our house but I’m still traumatized by it)
8. Tell you they hate you. This one hurts. But I once read that it’s actually a compliment – it means that they know nothing will hurt you more than them saying this. Because they know you love them so much.
9. pick the moment that you are absolutely ready to give them to any passerby that might want them to say the sweetest, most endearing thing EVER. They have some sort of spidey sense that tells them you’re getting ready to completely loose it. And they’ll say or do something sweet and endearing. It’s a survival skill.
10. Take you over heart, mind and body in a way you never realized was possible. Which will wreck your life in the best possible way. Forever.
There. It’s out. If these aren’t true for you, just move along. But if they are, just know I’ve been there, done that, have the t-shirt and it’s all going to be OK. My kids aren’t perfect. But you know what? Neither am I. It’s the whole humanity thing. God decided this weird system of broken people raising broken people, so let’s just all do the best we can. And give each other as much grace as we can.
And we’re all in this together.
Jen