It’s very gloomy here today. I feel like the sun has decided to head to warmer places, much like the birds flying south, and I miss it. I’m a girl who needs the sun.

I’ve got one kid home pretty sick and I haven’t run in days. Well, I ran 10 miles on Saturday so it’s not horrible, but I’ve missed a couple key workouts and that always makes me mad at myself.

I’m worried about money – taking a part time job is good on so many levels, not the least of which is my sanity, but it means some belt tightening and I’m concerned about how we’re going to make it all work.

But just now this story came across my Facebook feed.

I clicked on the “listen” button and heard her voice. Her name is Nobom, and she has this gentle, sweet and joyful voice. The interviewer talked about her life in South Africa. The financial hardships she encountered as a black woman, the threat of violence she faced every night within her own home. The death of her son, and later, the death of her husband. It’s been a life that has been very, very hard.

And yet she has joy.

“I won’t let the devil steal my joy.”

Her faith is making her joyful and sustaining her and making her an inspiration to others.

So here I sit in my warm home with plenty of food, my ample opportunities for education and work and really, anything I should choose to pursue. I’m looking out on my safe, clean and privileged neighborhood and I realize that in many ways, I am a 3 year old child. Toys all around me and nothing to play with. Food all around me and nothing I care to eat. Distraction and entertainment in abundance and nothing I want to do.

And I find myself asking forgiveness from the very God that has been so incredibly, inexplicably good to me.

Because I, who have so much, have let the devil steal my joy.

And Nobom has reminded me that I’m choosing to let that happen. And I can choose differently.

And I will.

May we all find our joy today!!