So, today’s writing prompt for the SITS Girls was to write about a back to school memory. Mine is a little different than most, but it was a great memory to visit.
We moved a lot when I was a kid. And although at the time, I took it in stride (Dad was an airline pilot and it came with the territory), looking back it was tough always being the new kid and feeling like the only one who didn’t fit.
I now realize that you can feel like you don’t fit even if you stay in the same town all your life. But no matter the reason why, feeling like an outsider hurts and is no fun, and it can be hard to navigate.
And to make matters worst, we often moved in the middle of the year so I didn’t even have the benefit of being one of many new kids. Nope. I was the only one. If you’ve ever been the new kid DURING the school year it is it’s own particular brand of frightening.
It’s interesting that in my work one of the things I’m responsible for at our church is welcoming new people. Because I remember one first day very clearly that went great. And it was all because of a person. Well, two people, to be exact.
Their names were Sandhya and Arti, beautiful and friendly twin girls, and they had been assigned to me by the principal to show me around. It was April of my middle school year and we had just moved from Conroe, TX to Scottsdale, AZ. Yes, that’s right. Because middle school isn’t awkward enough, you should move right before it’s finally over and be the only new kid.
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| This was the place! My middle school for 2 months in 8th grade |
I think what made it OK is Sandhya and Arti didn’t wait to find out “if” I would fit in with them and their group of friends. And as twin girls that had lived there most of their lives, they definitely had a lot of friends. The basically just said, “hi! You’re one of us now. Want to go to the mall after school?”
At least that’s how I remember it. And really, that might as well have been what they said. Because from the moment they met me they made me feel like I belonged.
And now, today, it’s honestly a big part of what I do. When people come new to our church, or our neighborhood, or my kid’s school, or heck, even our grocery store, I have this sort of “new person radar” that pulls me toward them and longs to make them feel like they belong. And ESPECIALLY at races, I’m always on the lookout for that nervous runner that’s running her first race and doesn’t know anyone. Because you so need the support of others when you’re scared and alone!
Because if you belong, then you can learn, and love, and have fun and create and laugh and dance and shop at the mall. And you can run and not be afraid.
So thankful for new friends that made me feel welcome. I will always be grateful.
Sandhya and Arti were always so nice!! Love this story.
I’m so glad you read this! I almost tagged you:)
I switched schools twice – once in 4th grade and again in 11th grade. I blogged about the first new school today. We experienced similar feelings for sure!
It’s hard, right?? I’ll go read your post right now! Thanks for reading!
Ok, so I just came across your blog today and I’m so glad I did. Your post what exactly what I needed to hear! I started running in Feb (I was 39 too)and this Saturday will be my first 5K. I WILL be “that nervous runner that’s running her first race and doesn’t know anyone.” Its good to know there are “been there, done that” runners who understand first time jitters. Wish me luck!
YAY, Shannon! You GOT this! Please come back and tell me how it went!! Best of luck!
Jen, thank you SO much for the words of encouragement. I did the race on Saturday and it was AWESOME! My only goal going into it was to finish in an upright position. Well, not only did I finish, I PRed! I totally didn’t expect that. I am so glad I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and ran the race. Even if I didn’t have a BRF to run with me, I enjoyed every minute and can’t wait to do it again!
Woohoo!!!! Congratulations, Shannon, that’s HUGE. I hope you celebrated well!! Great job!
You were the very first person to introduce themselves to us on our first Sunday at IBC. We pushed our (then) 6 month old twins into the back of the sanctuary, knowing no one, and you almost immediately introduced yourself and assured us that life with twins got easier. Shortly after that you were up front making announcements and we felt so welcomed that you took time out of your scheduled morning to talk to us. Five and a half years later and we’re still thankful that we felt noticed on that first Sunday – it made a huge difference! : )
Beth you have no idea how much that comment means to me!! I truly try to let the Holy Spirit show me who needs to be welcomed – sometimes I get busy and I forget – but when I listen (as I did with you guys) he ALWAYS shows up and does something great. So glad you’re at IBC!!!