So you know when you’re just about ready to pat yourself on the back for what an amazing job you’re doing of keeping all the plates spinning?? You think to yourself, Wow, would you look at all I’m trying to do and how WELL I’m doing it? And my hair even looks good! I work full-time, my house is semi-clean, my kids are doing great. I am a modern women in the best possible sense. Yay, me. Well, I had that thought for about 43 seconds yesterday.
Insert horror movie music here.
Last night, as we were settling down for the night, I said to one of my children:
“Hey, you know how last week you were throwing up and we took you off your antibiotics for your infected ingrown toenail? Well, since you’re better now, we should put you back on those because that toe still isn’t healed.”
Child heads to kitchen to retrieve bottle.
“Mom? Why does my prescription have my brother’s name on it?”
“Don’t be silly, it doesn’t.”
“Uh, yeah, it does.”
Child proceeds to show me the bottle of ADHD medication.
“Silly, that’s not your antibiotic. That’s your brother’s ADHD meds. Go get the other bottle.”
About right now is when I go into the kitchen and realize that the antibiotic, which, btw, looks EXACTLY LIKE the ADHD medication (both capsules, both blue and white, same size), was, in fact, not in the drawer where we thought it was and that I had, in fact, been giving my child ADHD mediation as an antibiotoic. THREE TIMES A DAY. So his “stomach virus” was, in fact, HIS MOTHER ACCIDENTALLY POISONING HIM. Oh, and bonus? We had been yelling at him for 3 nights for his inability to sleep and his decreased appetite. Yup. Parents of the year.
Now, you might be horrified right now, and I have to tell you, I was horrified as well. What kind of mother does this? I call my husband in tears (because of, course, he was out of town), dumbfounded that I have made such a mistake and mentally beating myself up for my failures, expecting him to be sympathetic and maybe a little worried that he travels too much . . . but instead (wait for it)
He starts laughing.
So hard that he can barely talk.
So hard that I threaten to hang up on him because he is incoherent and he’s pissing me off.
The child is fine. We are back on track. And I’ve learned my lesson and will be VERY CAREFULLY checking all medication bottles from now on.
And btw, I think it should be illegal to send two medications to the same house from the same pharmacy that look exactly the same. And maybe, just maybe, I’m not pulling off this plate spinning as well as I thought. Off to book a massage.
Jen