I just got done listening to a great Another Mother Runner Podcast where they interviewed Greg McMillan about running a sub 2 hour half marathon. In the wee recesses of my brain, it’s a goal I had entertained and actually have hoped to achieve.

This is what I look like when I run happy!

Listening to Greg, however, I think it’s time for me to have a reality check. Let’s take a quick look at the facts:

• My fastest half marathon was 2:27 on a very flat course in very good weather.
• Every time I have tried to do a lot of speedwork I have started to hate running.
• Even when I do the prescribed speed work (even working with my great coach, Natalie), I get a little faster, but not a lot faster, and plus also too see above about starting to hate running.
• I am getting older not younger.

It’s not that I don’t think improving is important. In fact, I very much do! I try to push my pace on at least one run a week and have started doing 2 – 3 miles of each long run at race pace. I’m even going to add hill training once the cooler weather comes! And yes, I’m sure this will make my upcoming half and full maybe my best ever! I may even PR! But guess what?

If I don’t? I will not feel like a failure. Because I am ME. I don’t have anybody else’s genetics or bone structure or heart or mind. I have MINE. And I know what pushing myself feels like, what an easy pace feels like, and how much rest I need. When I say my motto – Running Like a Little Old Lady so I Can Run When I’m a Little Old Lady – I’m not just pumping sunshine. I’m serious. I seriously want to be running when I am 70, 80 maybe even 90 years old.

And although I so appreciate my faster  running friends who will try to encourage me by saying “don’t give up! You can do this!” I’m NOT giving up. I am, however, accepting the kind of runner I want to be. And I have that freedom.

I want running to stay fun. I don’t want it to feel like work. Because I have plenty of work in my life. Good night, between my day job, my kids, my home, the bills, extended family obligations – I could go on and on. One big, long, hairy, audacious list of WORK.

I don’t want running to be my work. I want running to be my joy. So I will continue to plod along, smelling the roses, enjoying this miraculous body God gave me, and being grateful for every beautiful mile. And if I get a bit faster, so be it. And if I don’t – or even if I get slower – I will still keep on running.

Happy Running, Friends.