Over the years I think I’ve met at least 100 people, if not more, that could say “I used to be in ministry.”

And before you say it, I know. Yes, we are ALL in ministry. It’s part of who we are as Christians. Our life is our mission . . . .etc, etc, etc.

But vocational ministry is different. And when you get paid to love people well and care for them spiritually for over a decade, it changes you. And it can make it hard to function in the real world. Not to mention hard to attend a church service without wanting to help the guy in the sound booth because the mix is just terrible or finding the typo in the preacher’s power point presentation.

I just signed up for a new bible study at a new church where nobody knows what I used to do and I wonder, how should I start off? You know, that first day when you go around and say a little bit about yourself?

Here are my choices:

• I was a pastor for 10 years and now I’m in retail. I have a husband and 3 kids.
• Hi, I’m Jennifer, I’m married to a pilot and I work part time. We have 3 sons.
• Oh, sorry, I thought this was the support group for people who are unusually attached to llamas.

I’m fairly sure I’ll go with the last one.

It’s hard to explain, but I think I’ll go with just attending, like a person, and let my history with professional ministry come out when appropriate and with the people I trust when I feel like I’m ready. Because if you say it right away at a new church, you quickly become a target. For heading things up and leading things. I know this because I’ve done it to people new to my church that started out that way. Sorry, People.

And I’m not ready for that. I may never be ready for that.

And I don’t want there to be an assumption about my maturity or my “godliness” (which is a word I don’t even like, frankly) or my ability to help others. Because I just want to be your sister. I don’t want to lead you, I don’t want to counsel you, I don’t want to provide spiritual advice. And even typing that I feel like a jerk.

So here’s to all of us that can start a sentence with “I used to be in ministry”. All the hundreds and thousands of us. Just sinners, walking around, living lives and doing our best. May we all find our tribe and be able to just be members of the family. So we can grow, and love, and serve just like everybody else. Even if we really love llamas.