I have not always been known to take feedback well. I’m hoping I’m not alone in this, but I truly don’t enjoy being told that anything I’ve done, ever, is anything less than perfect.

I realize that’s unrealistic, and yet I continue to live life like this is the reality. When someone points out an area for improvement, I get very uncomfortable, defensive and at times, downright snarky. I think things like “well, it must be nice to be perfect like THEY ARE. Walking around pointing out everyone else’s flaws.”

Or at least I used to be that way. As I get older, it’s happening less and less. Not because I like the feeling of a flaw or misstep being pointed out, but because I know it makes me better.

My freshman year in college I took a creative writing class. The professor loved a story I did and wanted to submit it to a national competition for college students. I was, of course, thrilled, until he said this: “there are a few edits I want us to work on together before it will be ready to send off. I’ve made some initial notes so if you’ll make those changes and then we can talk about it.”

I hit the roof. I mean, really, if he thought the piece was so brilliant, MY piece, than why did he think he had the right to point out flaws? Who did he think he was?

Yes, I was 19, and yes, I now realize that EVERY writer has an editor, even the Pulitzer prize winning ones, and he was, in fact, offering me an amazing opportunity to learn.

I not only didn’t make the edits, I never followed up and never had that piece submitted to the writing competition.

The part of what he said that I didn’t hear (and why do we do this?) was the way he started the conversation.

“You’re really talented and I see a lot of potential in your writing.”

If we’re receiving feedback from good people and from a good place? It is almost ALWAYS for us, not against us. It doesn’t feel good. It feels hard and hurtful and as though someone has found out that we’re not perfect.

Um, let’s see, how to say this. YOU’RE NOT. And neither am I. I have blind spots, and weaknesses, and areas where I am lacking experience or empathy or perspective.

God gives us others to help us be the best we can be, and when we block out that feedback because we’re too insecure and defensive to hear it we miss huge opportunities. Just like I missed being entered into that writing competition and the opportunity to truly learn from a great writer.

So embrace criticism as what it ALWAYS is: an opportunity to learn. Because even if the person is dead wrong, there’s always a nugget of truth there and there’s always an opportunity to practice graciously handling our flaws.

Happy running and feedback taking;).

Jen