As the mother of 3 young men, I take the responsibility of ushering them into productive adulthood extremely seriously. They were given to us by God to mold and to raise up in the way in which they should go, and we have done everything we can to prepare them for the world that lies ahead.

I wanted to document the things I have learned in order to help them navigate the world in front of them. I have read lists like this in the past that typically have deep meaning and significance. I found them a tad impractical. So here’s what I came up with after at least 20 minutes of thinking on it:

1. Signing up for cable is hard and fixing something wrong with your cable is even harder. We’re not sure why this is such a horrible experience but it is. Accept it and allow adequate time to fix all cable related problems. 3 hours is typically suggested.
2. When the DMV tells you what documents you need, they’re not kidding. They will kick your butt out of there and they don’t make exceptions because you’re cute (I’ve tried).
3. Homeowner’s Associations don’t play. Know the bylaws. Do what they say.
4. Dogs are a pain in the ass (but are usually worth it)
5. When you paint one wall in your house, you’ll need a new couch. Because the new paint will make the couch look like hell.
6. Never use traffic as an excuse. Because the person you made wait had traffic, too, and they got there on time.
7. Your doctor is always going to run late. Just assume that she is delivering horrible news to the patient before you and deal. Getting mad will achieve nothing and if you’re sick, will make you sicker.
8. Don’t ever say “seriously?” to your wife. She’s always serious.
9. Wash your sheets at least twice a month. Less than that and everything in your life will slowly fall into a pile of rubble. We don’t know why.
10. Be kind. To others, yes, but mostly, to yourself. Forgive yourself, love yourself, and remember that your mama loves you. No matter what.

This feel like a pretty thorough list. I feel good about it. Now go out there and give em heck, Guys. You’re going to be spectacular.