OK, I edited this post to add this video first. Because if you’re struggling with your work/home/life/God’s calling stuff, you should watch this first.

I have been a full-time working mom for almost a decade. When I started, my oldest was going into 2nd grade and my twins were just starting kindergarten. I realize many of you have kiddos much younger and my hats off to you. This would have been a great option for me had quality child care been available at a price that we could afford without it eating up more than 50% of my salary. But that’s a rant for another day.

I have learned a lot in the last 10 years. About letting go, about surviving, about guilt. I could literally write a book on the subject but instead, here are my top five tips for surviving as a full-time working mom.

1. Let it go (sing if you must;). Decide what’s most important and do that. Let everything else fall away. It’s amazing how many things you realize you actually don’t “have” to do if you set strong priorities. Most mandatory school and athletic meetings actually . . . aren’t. And while you’re figuring out what’s most important, you may want to take a Pinterest fast. Because, yeah, just trust me on that one.
2. Sleep. You staying up until 2am because you left work early to chaperone a field trip and now you have to get 4 hours of work in is not helping ANYBODY. If skipping the field trip means you sleep, choose sleep. I know you want every experience but you can’t HAVE that. So decide what’s important and deal with it. My kids would much rather have me well rested and not crazy than at their field trip. What am I saying – my kids beg me NOT to go on their field trips. Mostly because I end up getting all the parents in a deep conversation about human trafficking or the Congo. I’m not a very good field trip mom.
3. If you’re blessed to have a spouse, don’t act like you’re a single parent. If you are the only one doing all of the dentist appointments, all of the grocery shopping, all of the birthday party throwing and all of the cooking and cleaning and you’re both working full-time something is dreadfully wrong. Sit down and have a serious conversation with your spouse and if that doesn’t work go to a counselor. As soon as possible.
4. Don’t complain about your work all the time. I have just corrected this behavior. My now teenage son recently said “I don’t know why you don’t quit your job, clearly you hate it”and it hit me right between the eyes. The truth is I don’t hate it – in fact, I love my job. But at the end of the day, when I’m exhausted, the only things that tend to fly out of my mouth are negative. Don’t be me. Remember your children are watching you and learning.
5. Take one day off a week. I call it Sabbath. You may call it something else. We work hard, as a family, on Fridays so that on Saturday we can relax, go to the movies, watch TV and take naps. If you fill up every day with work and activity, your life will feel like a never-ending to do list. If this seems impossible, please see #3. And remember, it’s the 4th commandment. So yeah, I feel like if something made that list we should probably listen to the wisdom in it.

That’s it for now. I get this wrong more week’s then I get it right. But when I let go of all the stuff I think I should be doing and instead focus on what my family really NEEDS things get better fast. It’s your life. You get to create your own rules of engagement that work for you. And for more on this, I highly recommend Overwhlemed by Brigid Schulte. It’s a great read.

Happy running,

Jen