We leave in 2 days for a 10 day Hawaiian vacation, just the twins and me, and I am excited, truly I am. However, I’m getting ready to enter into that place before vacation where there’s way too much to do and not enough me so I thought I’d take a minute to write some rules for myself on this family vacation.

I will NOT insist that the entire house be clean, every broken thing repaired, and every closet organized before we leave.

This is based in a deep seated and generationally rooted idea that something might happen to me and what will the neighbors think when they come in after I’m gone and see this disaster? And, less dramatically, there is some wisdom in not wanting to come home to a dirty house. Clean, fine. Perfect? Uh, just no. Screaming at everyone WE ARE LEAVING TOMORROW WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE DOING ANYTHING at the top of my lungs 13 or 84 times is unwise and no one is listening to me anyway. They’re too busy downloading things to their devices for the plane.

I will NOT over pack.

Packing stresses me out. I own everything one could ever want or need in order to be an organized packer so it’s not that. It’s the whole INABILITY TO TELL THE FUTURE thing. I mean, what if we meet some nice locals who’s daughter is getting married and they invite us to the wedding? Would be a shame if I couldn’t go because I didn’t pack heels? I know. I’m sick.

I will NOT get upset when they don’t appreciate all my hard work on this trip or how hard we had to work to pay for it.

Because I’m traveling with humans. Yes, I have put hours into planning and organizing the perfect trip, but they just want to have fun and I don’t need to hear thank you 800 times and then have a melt down when they fight over something stupid because WOW, HOW AWESOME THAT I DID ALL THIS FOR YOU AND ALL YOU DO IS FIGHT. I don’t want to repeat my friend’s experience(let’s call her Sara. Because that’s her name) who has a famous story revolving around the Minion room at Universal and 2 kids fighting over the  top bunk. It got UGLY, ya’ll. The hotel is still talking about it. I’m just kidding. I think.

I WON’T freak out when things don’t go as planned.

When you’re an over planner (takes self to mirror, points), you’ve put a lot into every minute of the trip. I mean, EVERY minute. I know the best place to get Masaladas, where to get the best shave ice, and the BEST place to see dolphins. But maybe the day we have the BEST dolphin thing scheduled we’re not feeling it. I will NOT freak out or force it. Because forcing it never ends well and somebody ends up drinking too much Chardonnay at the hotel bar (hint: it’s not one of the twins).

Lastly, I will enjoy every moment with my boys. Because they’re old. Really old. And soon there will be significant others and yes, even grandchildren, and I am SO EXCITED for that stage! But the one I’ve been in for the last 17 years is coming to an end, and I want to soak up every bit of Hawaiian magic while they still belong just to me.

Aloha