I clearly remember the exact moment when we found out God had blessed us with not one daughter, as I was sure I was carrying, but rather 2 identical boys. I was 20 weeks pregnant at the time and truly could not have been more shocked. Considering we already had a 3 year old son at home (whom we are fond of, even to this day) the whole thing seemed rather untenable.

But in the past 17 years, we have become used to them.

But it wasn’t always easy. Scott and I developed a few tricks of the trade that we had to figure out the hard way. I’d like to share them with you now:

1. Label them when they come home from the hospital if they are the same gender. Clearly, if you have a boy and girl they are self labeled, but for the rest of you, do something so you know who is who. You think you’ll remember but you won’t, even if they’re not identical. We’re still not sure if Matthew is actually William. A sharpie mark on one of their backs works well.
2. When administering medication, mark the one you gave it to. Because if you don’t, you won’t know who’s been medicated and who’s not. And you’ll worry you’ll kill one with too much medicine while the other one gets nothing. Again, Sharpie works well. Just put a small dot on their hand every time you dose them up. Clearly, I believe Sharpies are necessary to parent twins.
3. There will be parents that won’t invite both twins to a party. They are jerk faces. At least prior to 3rd grade. After 3rd grade it’s totally fine and they will develop their own individual friends, but it is perfectly OK for you to be ticked at the parent of a 5 year old that invites one twin and not the other. Sorry. Either invite them both or please leave us off the list. Because I have to sit home with the other one explaining why they didn’t make the cut. And 5 is a little early for that conversation.
4. Clothes will be a problem. We have a draft process over here that is rather involved but works well. First, go buy clothes (no do not take them with you – that’s lunacy). NONE of the clothes can be the same. NONE. Not a shirt, not a sweat pant, not a pair of jeans. NONE OF THEM. Then, draw numbers to see who gets to pick first. Then you go back and forth, taking turns picking, until all the clothes are chosen. Make very clear that you will not get involved with any disputes over choices but if they want to renegotiate on their own, they can. (again, much easier if you have the common sense to have different genders).
5. Get used to hearing “I don’t know how you do it.” People are well meaning but this is maybe the most unhelpful comment ever. Um, me neither. I don’t know how I do it either. Figure out your come back for this comment because you’ll need one. I usually say “I’m rarely sober.” A better comment to hear from others would be “what can I do to help you? This seems kind of hard.” That’s a good thing. Be friends with people who say that.

And hang in there. Raising any child is hard, but you, parent of multiples, are a rare, special breed that has been chosen for an awesome task. Surround yourself with people who get that and your family will thrive. Happy parenting.